Snow White

The first real snowfall is here...we're supposed to get about 1-3 inches of snow. It's been snowing all day, and fortunately, I haven't really had to travel anywhere today. The roads don't look that bad, but people are driving as if it's a dry, sunny day, causing accidents galore. I took my dog on a walk this afternoon, and it really is beautiful outside. Too bad there's no one around (that I know) to pelt with a good snowball!!

And I just burned my finger removing chicken from the oven...OUCH!!

White Thanksgiving

From CNN.com's Offbeat Images...I think it might be time for that family to throw away their pumpkin. I've been around pumpkins when they begin to rot, and they sure don't smell like roses. Yuck!!

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In the News:

Getting drunk was just the beginning for this poor guy: Bad Day

So the top car picked for 2006 isn't a Mini, but it is a car that a couple of my friends drive: 2006 Top Car

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Website:

Want to hear and rate some of the most annoying sounds out there? Check out this website created by a research center: Bad Vibes The crying baby did it for me.

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So we're supposed to get some snow here over the next few days...should be interesting. Sierra won't know what to do! Thanksgiving will be weird without being with my family. I didn't think I'd feel as lonely as I'm starting to feel...lol. Oh well...Friday will be here soon enough. I'll just find some good movies to rent while my friends are out of town and of course, work out quite a bit. And maybe some drinks!!! I DO have a bottle of Southern Comfort to finish off...hmmm... YEAH...that's sounding better and better by the minute. And this ends this entry cuz I say so.

Oh and the lyrics for "White Thanksgiving" go like this: I'm dreaming of a white Thanksgiving. With every turkey that I smoke. .....

Snow, Martha Stewart's Holiday To-Do List, & More!

Yesterday marked the first snowfall for the fall-winter season up here, and it is snowing as I type this. Now, I know many people up here see these white flakes as being sent straight from Hell to make their lives miserable, but I still enjoy watching it fall. There's something very serene about it...so quiet, so peaceful. If you put aside what might happen if you aren't careful driving in it, it really is a very beautiful event. I'd take it over freezing rain any day, something I think the South sees more of than the North.

Some have told me I will hate it here this winter...well, the jury's not even deliberating on it yet, so we shall see.

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In the News:

How would you feel if someone tried to murder your favorite vegetable? Here's an article about an innocent radish that almost saw the white light: Radish Recovering After Murder Attempt

Unfortunately, a sparrow in Amsterdam wasn't so lucky. Let this be a lesson to other sparrows: don't go anywhere near domino-fanatics (maybe all other species should heed that warning too!) -- Sparrow Shot for Downing Domino Record Bid

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From Comedy Central's Joke of the Day:


Martha Stewart's Holiday To-Do List


December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cards.

December 2 - Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine.

December 3 - Using candlewick and hand-gilded miniature pine cones, fashion a cat-o-nine-tails. Flog gardener.

December 4 - Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim.

December 5 - Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself.

December 6 - Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration.

December 7 - Debug Windows '2000

December 10 - Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth.

December 11 - Lay Faberge egg.

December 12 - Take dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble.

December 13 - Collect dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts.

December 14 - Install plumbing in gingerbread house.

December 15 - Replace air in mini-van tires with Glade "Holiday Scents" in case tires are shot out at mall.

December 17 - Child proof the Christmas tree with garland of razor wire.

December 19 - Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guest will be the same height when sitting at his or her assigned seat.

December 20 - Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in confectioner's sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture.

December 21 - Drain city reservoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks.

December 22 - Float votive candles in toilet tank.

December 23 - Seed clouds for white Christmas. Festoon windows with worthless stock.

December 24 - Do my annual good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last minute Christmas shopping, thus making many people feel less inadequate than they really are.

December 25 - Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in color-coordinated manger scented with homemade potpourri.

December 26 - Organize spice racks by genus and phylum.

December 27 - Build snowman in exact likeness of God.

December 31 - New Year's Eve! Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country.

My World, Salmon Soda, Eyeball-eating Ants, and More!

Happy Birthday to my granddad, who is 78 years old...very hard to believe. He's one of my favorite people...I used to be his "errand buddy" many many years ago, and much of my sense of humor comes from him. Hopefully, he'll be around for many more years.

So it's going to be another windy night here. The thunder is rolling, and I am sitting here all alone at work (if you want to kidnap me, now's your chance!!). I am also being stared down by a strange-looking beetle. I hope it comes in peace and doesn't think I am a cool new texture for him to try his legs out on.

Harry Potter's latest film comes out on Friday, though I won't be able to see it till Saturday. Oh man! I'm gonna miss all the crazy, dressed up people...dammit. heh heh I read that it is 2.5 hours long (which makes sense since the book is almost 1000 pages long), and I am sure it will be quite entertaining!! YEAH!!

This isn't an essay paper, so who cares that the above 3 paragraphs have no relation whatsoever...if you have a problem with my format, go punch your favorite orange barrell.

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In the News:

First up, Jones Soda has a fresh new flavor to quench your thirst: salmon!!! Mmmmm...move aside, Cherry Coke; I have a new favorite!

So ants are never fun at picnics or in your kitchen, but could you imagine having them take a liking to your eyeball?! Ants Eat Away Woman's Eye in Hospital

At a Barnes and Noble in Alaska, readers got a surprise when a woman crashed her car into the store. What's even crazier is that the store remained open the rest of the day: Crash Into a Good Book

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Website:

Someone got really bored to make up this website...it's literally a mirror-image of the Google search page: elgooG

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Sports:

Michigan pretty much slaughtered Indiana on Sat. (41-14), making it a not-so-exciting game to watch. This weekend, Ohio State comes to town to continue possibly the biggest rivalry in all of college football. Also, I've heard that based upon the outcomes of the games Sat., Michigan could face Georgia for the first time ever in a bowl game. Now that would be fun.

Humongous Shopping Cart, a $100,000 bill, and More!

From Yahoo News Photos: "This photo supplied by Guinness World Records shows Edd China talking to a shopper while driving his way into Guinness World Records book in Henley-upon-Thames, England,Tuesday, Nov. 8, 2005, after engineering what the book calls the largest motorized shopping cart in the world. The 11.4 feet tall, 9.8 feet long and 5.9 feet wide cart was created to celebrate the book's self-proclaimed first ever Guinness World Records Day on Wednesday Nov. 9, 2005. Edd is also currently featured in the Guinness World Records 2006 edition book for his record for the World's Fastest Sofa.(AP Photo/Guinness World Records/Tim Anderson)" This ain't your typical Kroger shopping cart.

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In the News:

Two articles I ran across today involve bras. One lady used hers as a way of smuggling a parrot out of her workplace (poor Polly got to be an unwilling bosom buddy): Bird in a Bra. And the other article involves heated bras (hot chicks, for sure!)

Hillsdale, Michigan has a new mayor, and he's a high school senior. Forget student council: 18-Year-Old Mayor

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This is what I found in the parking lot yesterday!!! Ok..maybe not...I did find an interesting Q&A on Yahoo (of course) about the largest denominations of US currency used: Ask Yahoo What's in your wallet? Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Oh, and apparently, this is my 25th post...do I get a prize from Blogger?

Married Pandas, Grenadeball, and More

In the News:

Gay marriage is frowned upon throughout most of the world, but if you're a panda, you're in luck: Two Pandas Tie the Knot

Funny in a morbid way, which makes these guys candidates for a Darwin Award:
Playing Catch with a Grenade. If you haven't heard of the Darwin Awards, here's the website: Darwin Awards - definitely something to check out if you get a kick out of reading the dumbest ways to die.

I found this article informing AND humorous...I didn't realize that ostriches were so damn fast at 43 mph top speed...that's twice as fast as most drivers over the age of 70!! Ostrich on a Rampage

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Random Website:

Nicolas Lampert is an artist; Nicolas Lampert is a really weird artist. Take a look at some of his "meatscapes" and machine-animal collages: The Artwork of Nicolas Lampert

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From Comedy Central's Joke of the Day:

Redneck Computer Lingo


Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.

Log Off: Don't add no wood.

Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.

Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.

Mega Hertz: When yer not careful downloadin'.

Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.

Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.

Hard Drive: Gettin' home in the winter season.

Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.

Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.

Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly season.

Byte: That's what the flies do.

Chip: What to munch on.

Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag.

Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.

Modem: What 'cha did to the hay fields.

Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.

Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.

Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.

Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.

Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.

Port: Fancy wine.

Enter: C'mon in.

Random Access Memory: You can't remember whatcha' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.

Glued Genitals, Drunk Moose, Pinqy, and More!

According to forecasters, we're supposed to have some strong thunderstorms late tonight...woohoo!! We have had way too few of these this year. If I should get struck by lightning or get a hail stone lodged in my eye, I will retract the "woohoo!" remark, ok? More wind tomorrow too...that means I don't have to brush my hair, right???

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Some interesting articles and a website I found today:

This is why I don't date women: Jury Rules Against Woman in Genital Gluing

Bullwinkle and Friend Get Smashed (not the article's headline heh heh)

Looking for a Christmas present for the guy/girl who has everything? How about a Pinqy! It's the world's smallest fire extinguisher, and I bet it can provide hours of fun!

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The Georgia Aquarium opens on November 23, and time permitting, I may try to go see it when I'm in GA next month. Here's a pic of the whale shark attraction from CNN.com:

And I have to share that FINALLY, I can return to the gym after 2.5 weeks!!!! My left tricep is fully healed, I think...and I've learned my lesson on when NOT to drop the dumbbells while on a decline bench.

Gone With the Wind

Step outside, strap on your sail, and you'll go far, my friend! There's a gentle breeze blowing out there...winds from 24 mph, maybe even gusting up to 50 mph (according to weather.com)!! I went out to Kroger this morning and had to fight the wind to be able to get out of the car lol. And while driving, the wind kicked up a small whirlwind of leaves, obscuring my view for a bit...but it was kinda cool!

I took Sierra out a little while ago, and she didn't seem to enjoy the wind as much as I did. I love this!! We walked over to the lake, and there are ducks just sitting still in the water, managing the wind just fine. They probably don't give a quack about all the wind.

Sports:

How bout them Wolverines??? They were awesome yesterday. The Canadian Cuckoos didn't stand a chance...77 to 0. Wait...I've just been informed that this game occurred within the goal posts of my mind...damn. So they will be back in action Saturday at home, and next week is the big Ohio State game (which means Ann Arbor will be full of crazy Ohio people, so hide your kids and get out your rifles heh heh)!

I Got Jokes

From Comedy Central's Joke of the Day:

Give or Take a Gazillion

Donald Rumsfeld is briefing president Bush: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"Oh no!" exclaims the president, "that's terrible!"

His staff is stunned at this unprecedented display of emotion, watching as Bush sits, head in hands.

Finally, he looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"


The President''s Puzzle

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.

"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.

"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.

"How long did it take you?"

"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"

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In the News:

Check out this Halloween Trick-or-Treat gone wrong: Italian Halloween (funny in a black comedy type way)

Here's an article about a hungry pizzeria burglar.