One Man Cometh, One Man Goeth, One Man Stayeth

So today is one of those days that is kind of important in history...Alan Greenspan's long reign came to an end; Judge Alito was confirmed (unfortunately) to the Supreme Court--Sandra Day O'Connor at least will finally be able to retire and pursue skydiving or scuba diving as a hobby; and Pres. Bush presents the 2006 State of the Union tonight, attempting to wow us once again with his remarkable public-speaking skills. Also, it looks as if Iran is going to throw a temper tantrum soon...who knows, maybe they'll accidentally nuke themselves?

Is it bad for me to be more excited about tonight's Gilmore Girls episode than the State of the Union address? I mean, this episode is supposed to have THE Friday Night Dinner to rule them all at the Gilmore Mansion with all hell and hillarity breaking loose. Since I'm taping it, this will be a great follow-up to the Bush speech...oh yeah!! lol


Before I end this entry, I did come across some completely unrelated articles that made me laugh and that I have to share:

The first is an article about a guy who tripped over his shoelace and smashed priceless vases in a museum...

The second is about a group that decided to have a party in a post-mortem room in a hospital.


And tomorrow begins February...only 28 days...and who cares about the middle one, right?

The Australian Open Ends...

So the 2006 Australian Open has sadly come to a close. I was lucky enough to be able to watch a good bit of it live...and I may have seemed like an addict, watching at late/early hours of the day..glued to the set sometimes.

Roger Federer (Yahoo Sports/David Gray)

The men's final between Federer (who else) and unknown Baghdatis opened with two very intense sets. When Federer lost the first set, I started to get worried. After all, Baghdatis had taken down Roddick, Nalbandian, and Ljubicic. Fortunately, Federer cranked it up a notch and took back the 2nd set and sailed through the 3rd and 4th to win his 7th Grand Slam!! Fun match to watch...Baghdatis is one to watch in future tournaments, for sure; seems like a very cool guy as well! Federer now is halfway to reaching the record 14 Grand Slam wins that Sampras achieved in his day.

Amelie Mauresmo (Yahoo Sports/Getty Images/Clive Brunskill)

The women's final was the most disappointing match I've ever witnessed (complete opposite of last year's Wimbledon final). Justine Henin-Hardenne, who was quite obviously not playing at her normal level with which she beat Davenport and Sharapova, called it quits because of stomach pains. This, after being getting her ass kicked hard by Mauresmo...based on her comments and how she looked afterwards, she most definitely could've hung in there for 4 more games to let Mauresmo win in a proper manner. It was really cheap, in my opinion, for the bitch..er, H-H to sit out because she wasn't playing as well as she should be due to her discomfort. Ugh!! Mauresmo won her first major title, though...despite the bittersweet ending of the match. Awesome!

Just another comment regarding Mauresmo: H-H was not her only opponent to retire in this tournament (Clijsters out with an ankle injury, and Krajicek out with heat exhaustion). Maybe Mauresmo has taken a liking to dark magics or something? Hmmm...that's the Buffy fan in me talking...yeah, I know...dork.

There weren't all that many exciting matches in this tournament, and it sucked to see many of my favorites go down early. Next up in the Grand Slams is the French Open (May 29 - June 11) in Paris. Clay play..woohoo!!

The next big sport event I'm greatly anticipating is the Winter Olympics...I love, love, LOVE the winter sports!!! As for the Super Bowl, I don't really care for it any more...too much of a very drawn-out production for me; the BCS is a hell of a lot more exciting than the Super Bowl! And besides, I really don't get off on seeing boobage...

HUGE Cake, Amusing Articles, & Tennis Thoughts

From CNN.com's Offbeat Images, this is the biggest ice cream cake you could hope to find. About 16 feet long, 10 feet wide, and 3 feet tall. That's a hell of a lot of ice cream!! YUM!

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In the News:

Some Chinese are so excited about going home for the Chinese New Year that they will endure wearing diapers for the trip.

An article about a nurse with an interesting way of relieving stress.

Here's an article about a guy who launched his prosthetic legs at a cop. THAT would've been hillarious to see!

First, a guy tries to drive in a carpool lane with a dummy (link in a previous post--good luck finding it!), then this woman tries to find another loophole involving her unborn child.

Hide-and-seek becomes hide-and-stuck (I am so cheesy) in a washing machine.

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Tennis (Aussie Open):

Just to show you how devoted I am to my faves...I woke up at 2am, took a fun drive through downtown Ann Arbor (finding an alternate route from work to home too!!), went to Kroger, then came home to watch my fave tennis lady, Lindsay Davenport, fall to Belgian waffle Justine Henin-Hardenne (from 3:30 to 5:30). Even my dog thought I was crazy, but it was quite fun!! Well, watching Davenport lose wasn't... I feel satisfied in knowing that H-H will be given a strong heave-ho by Sharapova. But you know, I really don't know which lady will win this weekend. I predict Hingis vs. Sharapova in the Final.

As for the men, Federer gave me a scare with his 5-setter in the Round of 16 (since he statistically does bad with 5-setters). I'm still counting on him being in the Final against Nalbandian.

As for my favorites that were ousted...Roddick tried, Hewitt wasn't at his best at all, Ginepri also wasn't at his best, and don't get me started on the Williams sisters. I still want to root for them, but it's hard when it's becoming more and more obvious that tennis is no longer their passion.

And Nadal and Agassi have been missed, for sure...

Real-life Humorous Incidents and a Joke

Here are a few funny incidents/jokes I've collected over the past week that I wanted to share:

The first two are from my Stupidest Things Ever Said calendar...

"RECYCLED FLUSH WATER UNSAFE FOR DRINKING"
-warning label on public toilet, Ann Arbor, Michigan

That explains the bad breath of many of my customers at the bank...

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today....He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." (President George W. Bush)


From an old Bonehead of the Day Calendar:

"We didn't believe this one until we confirmed it. A Christchurch, New Zealand, man stapled his penis to a crucifix and then set it on fire to win a 'how far will you go' contest with a $500 winning prize and a $500 bar tab."

"The Canadian Press reported that three restaurant robbers took a store's safe and, with great difficulty, hoisted it into the trunk of an employee's car only to see it fall out as they hit a speedbump as they sped away. Not wanting to put it back into the trunk again, they began ramming the safe with the car to get it open, according to police who had plenty of time to arrive and watch the show."


One last one from an e-mail a friend sent me:

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.
The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job."
Mujibar said, "I am ready."
The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready."
The manager said, "Go ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"
Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems. No doubt you have spoken to him.

More Random Pictures

Warning: some of these pictures contain extreme dorkiness...viewer discretion is advised!

Me and a bowl of dry Honey-Nut Cheerios...and I still love them that way!

Yeah, it's small...but this is a rare event: me catching a fish!!

What I want to be doing right now!! I think that was in Aspen, CO in the mid-90s (I'm the one on the right).

Lounging in my grandparents' front yard, once a summer/fall afternoon ritual...I kinda miss those days (late 90's).

One of the best days of my life...even tho it poured all 3-4 hours, and we were told we were rafting in dangerous conditions...what a thrill!!!! (1995)

At my parents' house about to head to work as a scarecrow on Halloween (2003).

Not a costume...and I think there's a snowball in my gloves. (mid 90s)

Graduation from Berry College...Green Hall (the business school) in the background. That's my short family. (2002)

My grandparents...my grandmother sadly gave up her bitchin look soon after that, and that's the man who greatly influenced my sense of humor.

LOL...my bedroom at my parents' house before I moved out...I was a bit of a Star Trek fan once upon a time.

And the other 2 walls were just as covered...

Riding some awesome waves on a fish raft in Hawaii with a good friend...doesn't get much better than that!

The Australian Open Begins Monday!

Don't you just love time zones? I believe Melbourne is approximately 16 hours ahead of us in the Eastern Time Zone. Imagine THAT jet lag...wow.

Thankfully, we have ESPN 2 to cover the Open, since the major networks don't really think it is a big crowd-pleaser like Wimbledon and the US Open. Because of the time difference, coverage begins Sun. night 7pm - midnight, which should be live. Just because it's First Round doesn't mean there won't be some exciting matches. After all, Andy Roddick was ousted in the First Round of the US Open, as was the defending women's champion, I believe.

It's sad to see that Agassi and Nadal are out with injuries, but I guess this will give Roddick more of a shot at making it to the Final. I believe Federer will win this time around...he's still not showing any sign of letting up. As for the women, Clijster would've been my pick, but she's got an injury she's working with...so either Pierce or Davenport could pull it off.

I love printing out the Draws and filling in the winners of each round...because I'm weird..duh!!

Here's the schedule from the official site (in Australian/Melbourne time): schedule Ginepri and Davenport's matches are at the same time, so no Ginepri eye-candy for me till later on in the Open (I'm hoping this very skilled dude will make it as far as he did in the US Open...he's awesome AND hot!!).

If you don't hear/see me in the next 2 weeks, you'll know what I'm doing...heh heh. This is my absolute favorite sport to watch/play...I LOVE the grand slam events!!!

Bring it on!! And in just a month's time, the Winter Olympics will be here (and oh, how I love just about every event...even the scandalous figure skating isn't that bad (compared to gymnastics!)). BOOYAH!!!

If you read through all this, you must be a tennis fan too, like humoring me, or you are incredibly bored lol.

One More Article...

Very brief posting here...I wanted to share one more hillarious article that Jim shared in a comment on my last post:

Man's static jacket sparks alert - for some reason, this article hit my funny bone just right, and I was laughing so hard that I had a hard time breathing. I so wish I could link my imagination to a tv screen...then everyone would see why I find some things so friggin funny.


And today in my part of Michigan, it was 52 degrees and sunny...very warm for Jan. here and so wonderful!! I spent quite a bit of time outside enjoying it...it might be a while before a day like this comes again.

Only a few days till the Australian Open begins (minus Nadal and Agassi, unfortunately)!!!

Funny News Articles & a Joke

News Articles of Interest:

Man Sets Self on Fire in Courtroom - This dude must be a fellow Aries since he has such a fiery personality (how's THAT for cheesy?!?!)

Man Beats Jellyfish, Vomiting in Swim - I found Nemo...he pulled a Little Mermaid and really wants to be a fish again.

Ocean View - as soon as the poison works - Another person who is really drawn to the sea.

Chained Artist Forced to Hop It - This is why not to chain your legs together in the desert.

Mouse Sets House Ablaze - So what if a house burned down...it's still funny how it happened.

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From Comedy Central's Joke of the Day:

Redneck Bubblebath


Q: How does a redneck take a bubblebath?
A: He farts in a puddle.

Crass, I know..but still funny, right?

Me vs. Ice, Round II

This morning was one of those where I got in the car, drove onto the street, and said, "Oh shit!" At 7:45am, no roads (including major I-94) were salted, and freezing rain was happily falling from the sky to make things not so fun. The scene: accidents scattered about, people spinning out, my car doing lots of fish-tailing, and driving at a crawl and eventually coming to a dead-stop on US-23 for a while.

Let's just say I was not very pleased by our road crew's slow response to the weather this morning. If you had been in the car with me, you may have heard some expletives. I will admit, I was a little anxious during the drive. I was actually glad to be sitting still on 23 for about an hour! lol I even had radio personality Brian Farrar, whoever he is, to keep me company...hearing about stupid courses colleges offer...very entertaining.

I arrived at work around 10:15, 2.5 hours later (as opposed to the usual 15 min.). BUT the key word is arrived...no fender-benders, no careening off into a ditch..whew! I, a relatively-new Michigander, managed fine on the ice!! All those people who saw my GA license plate probably thought I wouldn't make it...so, BOOYAH!!!

I feel like I deserve a ribbon or plaque or something. I mean, there were, according to the radio, at least 30 accidents of varying degrees out there! At the very least, my bank could give me a raise or a day off! Yeah....sure... No one else could make it to work today...so I get to sit here and twiddle my thumbs all by myself for the next 5 hours. Woohoo!

Today's ice incident has only made me stronger, as per the old adage, right?

If you read this, you must really be bored, but thanks for humoring me! ;-)

Drama Queen version of my Title: "I Thought I was going to DIE!!!!"

ME: The Early Years II

Here are some more pics of me as a little guy:

Pimp my ride.

Why I wasn't an artist (I think that's the flag?)...and that's the old piano that brought my musical talent alive.

Hello Kitty?!?! Come on!! This must be an altered photo...

I'm in the back, dressed as Hordak from She-Ra (I actually remember that!), my sis in front (the one with the pointy hat heh heh), a witch dummy next to her, and my mom as Elvira.

I used to think it was cool to put on fake glasses, not knowing that in a few years, I'd need real ones...

Look Mom, I'm a bean pole!

At the 1991 Citrus Bowl with my dad to see GA Tech beat Nebraska to tie for the National Championship (back before the BCS began, I think). And man, do I look like a big dork or what...look at those shades!!

ME: The Early Years

I am currently watching the Orange Bowl (awesome game...go Lions!!) and was going through some old pics my dad sent me. I thought I'd post a few to show what I looked like a looong time ago...

My mom back in 1980...she didn't yet know I'd grow a little taller over the years.

My country tis of thee...

My first vehicle...my dad liked to push me around in diaper boxes.

I wish I was still that cute!!

My grandmother kisses me good night as I hold onto my fave stuffed animal, Old Bird (I never had a teddy, just a bird)

And the Lions won the Orange Bowl...BOOYAH!!!! GREAT game...look forward to the Rose Bowl tomorrow night. Who will it be, Texas or USC? Tough call, but my bet's on Texas.