Real-life Humorous Incidents and a Joke

Here are a few funny incidents/jokes I've collected over the past week that I wanted to share:

The first two are from my Stupidest Things Ever Said calendar...

"RECYCLED FLUSH WATER UNSAFE FOR DRINKING"
-warning label on public toilet, Ann Arbor, Michigan

That explains the bad breath of many of my customers at the bank...

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today....He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." (President George W. Bush)


From an old Bonehead of the Day Calendar:

"We didn't believe this one until we confirmed it. A Christchurch, New Zealand, man stapled his penis to a crucifix and then set it on fire to win a 'how far will you go' contest with a $500 winning prize and a $500 bar tab."

"The Canadian Press reported that three restaurant robbers took a store's safe and, with great difficulty, hoisted it into the trunk of an employee's car only to see it fall out as they hit a speedbump as they sped away. Not wanting to put it back into the trunk again, they began ramming the safe with the car to get it open, according to police who had plenty of time to arrive and watch the show."


One last one from an e-mail a friend sent me:

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.
The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job."
Mujibar said, "I am ready."
The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready."
The manager said, "Go ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"
Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems. No doubt you have spoken to him.