Happy V-Day!

I found a couple of good jokes and some interesting articles all related to Valentine's Day:


Articles:

American singles give cold shoulder romance: survey - I found the poll results intriguing, especially the 3% who have found happy relationships through online services.

"Missed Connections" site offers Valentine hope - Sounds like a cool website...I wonder if it would figure into the 3%.

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Jokes (from Comedy Central.com):


Vetoed Valentine Promotions


Valentines Day is here again, and with it the perfect opportunity for marketing departments the world over to romance investors and donors with Valentine-themed promotions! Here are some that didn’t quite make it off the drawing board:

Nevada State Tourism Board: “Nothing Says I LOVE YOU Like Legalized Prostitution and Gambling” T-shirts, baseball caps, and coffee mugs.

Ku Klux Klan: * Valentine’s Day Heart Burning, co-sponsored by Alka Seltzer

Vatican Public Relations Office* “Naughty Altar Boy” limited edition ceramic figurine

American Heart Association* Chocolate heart with marshallow-filled arteries. Simultaneously a touching token of love and a serious warning to an overweight sweetheart.

Daughters of the American Revolution* Illustrated Kama Sutra featuring George and Martha Washington. Comes with authentic period wooden dental dam.

PETA* Spray Paint a Red Heart on Joan Rivers’ Coat Competition
National Society of Organ Donors* “My Heart Belongs to You (As Soon As I’m Brain Dead)”
cards.

Department of Homeland Security* Moving the Valentine’s Day National Warning System Code Red for a “High Risk of Lovin’”


For those who are single and bitter:


Ode to Valentine's Day


Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is that schtuff for
People get mushy and start acting queer
It's definitely the most annoying day of the year.

This day needs to get the hell over with and pass.
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass.
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week.

Guys act all sweet but soon it will fade…
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Because I think love is a bunch of $#!+.

So there's my story...
what can I say…
Love bites ass...
SCREW VALENTINE'S DAY!


And to those of you that have valentines, have fun!